Your Personal Identity, the real driving force of human endeavour, is not just what you display; it is based on the power to think, to reason, the power of your Mental Strength.
It is what drives you to be the capable, creative mind-force that defines and propels the human being. It is, however, energized by how you have learned to measure yourself – your value system.
As a child, you get reinforcements from parents and guardians. Later you must get them from yourself using value systems, that define your individuality and personality.
And your Value System can easily be bruised, crushed, or deflated by an unkind word, a failed effort, a rejection, criticism, or loss, depleting your Mental Strength and your Personal Identity with it.
So if your Value System has taken a beating, and you are already drawn to
use alcohol, prescribed or designer drugs, or other activities to escape to a more soothing but artificial and dangerous reality,
appease, please or submit to the demands made on you – suffering exhaustion, burnout, even depression as your efforts prove fruitless,
vent your frustration, disable or remove the stress, or express jealousy and control trying to tame the opposition,
fret, worry, self-doubt or panic, drifting to emotional shutdown or despair as you feel more and more overwhelmed by life,
…take heart. These do not mean that you are bad, mentally ill, foolish, or dumb.
You see, mental health is NOT a physical or biochemical condition. The mind is you. It can be mentally under-nourished and so insufficient, but it cannot become ill. The body, including the brain, can become ill revealing a distorted representation of you. But the mind has never been measured let alone found to be diseased.
Therefore, if you have learned to get by doing one of these defensive behaviours, know that it is only an instinctual way of protecting a mental insufficiency or poverty of insight relative to the demands of your reality. The more you use them, the more you are harbouring that insufficiency.
It is easier and more expedient to build, rebuild, and secure your mental strength than to treat or restrain these behaviours while your mental strength remains insufficient.
When you become stronger mentally, when you can have a Personal Identity or Self-Image that allows you to honestly believe in YOU, these defensive responses will fade naturally.
You don’t focus on the distorted behaviour; focus instead on learning to respect and build what was always ready to be built but is always insufficient until you free yourself to respect and build it – Your Mental Strength.
Look at it this way…
There are Life’s stresses – normal, natural, unavoidable, persistent.
Then, there is the Mental Strength. When sufficient or secure, it can address the stresses. If depleted or insecure, it allows the retreat behind Reactive Behaviour
Secure Mental Strength
Depleted Mental Strength
The natural inclination is to treat or restrain the reactive response. If its presence was to protect a depleted Mental Strength, removing it will still leave you depleted and so liable to replace that response with one of the others or a different version of the one you restrained.
We teach you instead how to identify, and build, enhance, or restore the power of your Mental Strength. Then you will be more purposeful facing your Life Stresses with greater creativity, more options, and a confidence that comes from within you.
Your Reactive Responses will still be there but used at a milder or limited level that is no longer distorted and is thus easier or not necessary to be contained.